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The real title of this story is: The Unknown, not very funny at
all, ”Skunk and I.”
This was not a funny story and to tell you the truth this was one
time I was scared so bad that………….
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I heard a noise outside in the
dark of the woods.
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What I did before I found out
what it was.
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Shot gun approach.
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Who was more scared?
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Smell emitting from my pants
leg.
We had not lived out in the woods for very long and the closest
neighbor was about half a mile away. There was not much light
except for what the evening stars emitted from the very black sky.
(No city lights) The shape of the moon was equal to what you’d see
in an outhouse door, not very bright, and the sky was overcast. Add
one young buck (me) with little after-dark experience in the woods
and you now see the elements were perfect for this type of
scenario.
Now that I’m through describing the elements we can proceed to how
the mind works. Remember, I said we lived in the woods and it was
dark! Now add the noises outside in the back yard just outside your
sliding glass door, then add inexperienced brain cells, mix well (I
thought), and this is what you get.
I went into survival mode and immediately got my shot gun. My
thoughts went from human to animal to human to animal. I did not
believe a human was dumb enough to come into a dark yard at night
in the middle of the woods so I thought some more and remembered
having to clean up garbage last week because I thought a neighbor’s
dog had tipped over my trash can.
Now…..because I thought it was the neighbor’s dog I figured that if
I opened the sliding glass door, flipped the porch light on at the
same time, stomped on the wooden deck, yelled really loud and fired
off the shotgun into the air, the most I would have to do is clean
up some dog poop as the neighbor’s dog went running and sliding
around the house to get away, never to be seen again.
Have you ever heard people say, “We better have a plan B ready just
in case plan A fails”? Read on and you will see why.
Well
to my astonishment when I looked down there was the biggest skunk I
ever did see. The poo smell that came from my pants leg must have
outdone the skunks capabilities and he must have felt the
competition was not worth sticking around for. About the same time
he took off running so did I and I’ll bet it took less than a
mini-second for me to shoot back inside the house and shut the door.
I love sharing my life’s experiences with you. I just hope you are
young enough to learn from my experiences and will not have to
create too many unusual ones of your own. By the way, tomato juice
will help get rid of skunk smell. This usually has to be used on
your dog, not yourself!
Signed,
Grandpa and my laughing life time partner Grandma
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